yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
