we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize