I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
