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Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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