Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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