what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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