So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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