I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
