she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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