My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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