So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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