I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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