you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
