ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
