He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize