oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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