maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize