i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
