Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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