your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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