you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
