i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
