I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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