you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
