I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
it's like heaven, but drunker
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We had sex on a dog bed..
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
