handjob tips. give me some.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
