what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
