i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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