I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I AM VODKA MAN
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
