i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
