Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
