then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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