i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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