i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
