Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
