ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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