uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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