I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
