you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
