Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
