Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize