I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
