Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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