just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
