Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
