the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
