There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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