3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I have tasted many bathrooms
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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