Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize