I heard we made out
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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