i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Randomize
