What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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