we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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