There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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