Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize