What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
