No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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