Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
