In the future we'll all be gay
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
His hands were made for my vagina.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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